As per usual, chaps, please enter your quotes into the right section. If anybody would get the joke, stick it into 'General Interest'; if only you and a group of friends would get it, pop it into 'In-Jokes'. Feel free to create new sub-headings for your class, I would have put them in except I didn't have the booklet :3. would like to remind you to ACTUALLY FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS ABOVE PLEASE. Some quotes which make no sense to the general population have been moved to the In-Jokes section, in the faint hopes that they make sense to SOMEBODY. Likewise, only in-jokes should be put in the in-jokes section. Add in quotes under whichever titles you think it fits. If you need to make a new subheading, e.g for a specific class, please use Sub-Heading 2 as otherwise the contents system will screw up.

Session 1

App Design and Development


"Let's get the LAN party started" - Various (when playing minecraft)

"Make me an App" - Anon "Done" - Mark

"Are we supposed to be working now?" - Everyone

"I like apples"- Albert

"I lost the game"- Michael

"Turn off the games lads"

"We should make a survey, and get them back," (Referring to the surveys that pretty much every other course did to us)

Behavioral Psychology A

"Shtall da Digger"- Michael

"Whip it for science" - Niamh

"Whyyyyyyyyy(Like a Cat baby) - James Tait

"D'ya need a JCB to go any deeper?" (Said like a culchi) - Matthew

"I just want you to stop being happy" - Niamh to Amy

"Pew Pew Pew Pew" (Shots fired) - Everyone

"Someone will shove a pitchfork down your throat" - Sally to Niamh

"Heavy Dicks, Heavy dicks everywhere" - Niamh

"No no amy, Please no no" - Sally (In distress)


"Has anyone seen my see through balls?!?" - Colm

"Its like liquid dreams" - Solly

"B...Ba....Ban....?...Banter?..." - Amy

(Whispers)"Your a woman" - Colm

"When you rub it it goes in" - Amy

"*Boos and claps at the same time while confused*" - Everyone

"You can ship objects with people" - Paul

"You can't put what we have here into words" - Paul

"Hands before mouth" - Shauna(The divine TA)

"The sheep will still be there when you get back" - Shauna

`¬ But not if you kill them" - Paul

"Mmmmm that sally ham" - Niamh

Oh yeah, dig right in there" - Niamh

"STOP TOUCHING ME!" (All the time due to niamh + amy) - Sally

"No more penis" - Niamh

"Sally I love you so much I'd lick your toes clean" - Niamh

"Id you wanna start a grope war just come out with it" - Niamh

"Give us some filthy ones" - Niamh

"Stop with the face stroking!" - Shauna"

"LEts get sticky, wiiith mickkyy" - Micky

MMmmmmmmmmm sallys personal space" - Niamh

"*Makes hand gesture and stops mid sentence*" - Roisin

"Assorted noises" - Colm

"Im delicious" - Cormac ( Not actually in this class)

Behavioral Psychology B


"How many people in this class have actually been slapped by their parents?" *Most people put up hands* "Exactly and we're all normal" "No we're not" *round of applause* - Conor, Cian and Aoife P.B

"You told me that your dad was 6 foot 2" "I was talking about someone who had more....physical ability than me" - Thomas and Cian

"Once, I got high on sugar, passed out in my bathtub and had a dream about a time-travelling jetpack." *casually sips 6th coke* "I hope it was a dream, anyway" - JJ

"Hangmaaaaaan" - Kellie

"Sineád-nay" - Billy

"She has more cleavage than boob" - Kellie


"8pm hungover, 10pm dead from meningitis" - Billy

"9am breakfast, 9:30am mangled by bangle" - Billy

"They look suspiciously like swastikas" - Peter

"What colour is the wind?" -Peter "depends on how high you are" -Billy

"I cut my tongue because I was licking the top of a tuna can. It was nice tuna!" - Conor

"Here's your present" *hands billy the letter B* - Kate

"Ah sure if centras being robbed again just go to mace instead" -Conor

Bob: "says something opposite to reality (i.e. what if windows see through us?)" " Sooo deep"- Everybody else

*Mention of drugs or alcohol or crime* -Everyone looks at Billy

"Let's lynch Gráinne!" - Everyone

"Pink glitterrrrr" - Billy & Rory

*Bass about to drop*....*Billy and Bob flail their arms in the air and scream* "Yaaaaaay!"

"Waterford are better than Tipp, Limerick and Cork" - Rory & kellie

"Maybe it's Haybelline" - Conor

"Do you have a phobia of agreeing with people?!" -Billy to Cian

"Shut up Cian" - Cormac (& everyone else)

"Bob eating de gud lunch" - Billy

"Whay-ulls" - Bob (Wales in welsh accent)

"The huuuuuman centipeeeede" - Billy

"You look like a camel" - Kellie (to Bob)

"You don't see 8 year olds in gangs," - Gráinne "Have you ever been to Limerick?" - Conor

"Ur nan" - Billy

"Ur ma" - Cormac

"My big toe" - Cian

"" - Kate

"I used to look like a boy" - Kelly

"Pronounce every letter that you wish to communicate." Bob (In a highly articulated voice)

"We're going to Disneyland, not Bordeaux!" - Conor

"Flavour stronger than Kellie's punch" - Kellie

*to the tune of bounce by Calvin harris* "do do do do do do do do" -Billy & Bob- "Sand" (In monotone)

"Surfboard" - Conor

"This is so exciting!" - Rory

"Georgia Piazalano needs her double soy mocha frappucino now or she'll kill someone!" - Conor

"Can we watch the Kellaaayy video" - Most of class "No." - Will

"I can't put my hand anywhere because everywhere is your boobs" - Billy (to Kellie)

"I'm sorry that the laughter of children offends you." - Sinead-nay (T.I) *in reference to a little shitty old man.

(B-Psych A steals B-Psych B's white chalk) "FIENDS!!" -Will (T.A) *said while running out to the B-Psych A room


(Interclass Quotes)

Criminology: Ciara "I'LL FICHA!" (To Conor)


"I value my hands" - Class motto

"Men?" - Chip, also is Class Motto

"Punishment works as a deterrent, so I would murder you--" - Edele, TI

"--But I value my hands!" - Theo

"Why does this not come up on the desktop?" - Katie, TI

"I blame the Japanese" -- Theo

"If you have a uni brow, you are definitely guilty" - Theo

"Its unnecessary to cut off a person's hand for stealing a loaf of bread" - Katie, TI

"Actually it's not that extreme" - Bronagh

"I really like my hands" - Finn

"Exactly, just cut off his hand" - Theo

"The T is for Tired" - Everyone

"Everyone shake about to wake up" - Katie, TI

*sings shake it off* - Odilia, Chip and Aleca

"Victim precipitation? So what, victims turn to water?" - Chip

"No, victims fall from the sky" - Ella

"It's raining men!" - Aleca

"That's the problem with feminism" - Theo

"That's not feminism that's murderous misandry" - Aleca

"Is Alcatraz real? I always thought that it was made up" - Bronagh

"That's Atlantis I think" - Aleca

"Or maybe Azcaban" - Ella

"I'm not transphobic my godmother is a lesbian" - Finn

"I usually just write the big words" - Chip

"To make you look photosynthesis" - Denis

*Gives group presentation* "That was a little too much photosynthesis" - Denis

"Hugh, why does affection disturb you so much?" - Aleca

"I'm the only normal one in this group!" - Hugh

"You just cut your own hair with safety scissors and threw them across the room!" - Aleca (to Hugh)

"Bronagh, you can't blame Hugh for you throwing scissors" - Aleca

"When my parents ask me what i learned when i get home, I'm going to say that i learned ' not to ask'" - Hugh

"You are so confused by females" - Bronagh (to Hugh)

"Its the foreigner affect" - Denis

"Is there an Irish Mafia" - Hugh

"Well we have the IRA" - Aleca

"What part of the navy was it?" - Sarah

"The part on water" - Finn

"I heard my name, but I didn't hear it very positively" - Theo

"Maricat, the capital city of America" - Theo (in a game of Hangman)

Cutting Edge Science

(Eoin comes late) Everyone: "Ahhh Eoin" Kacper "God damn Mongolians"

Killian : "Daniel stop playing with your anal beads" Kacper :"I like anal beads!"

Eoin "Do you think I can still eat this"

*general grunting noises* Tal : "that was a good stroke"

Tal (to Killian) : "fist me bro"

Fiona: "I relate to Baymax on a spiritual level."

Tal: "Eye spasms come and go, but fists are forever."

Ana: "Dude, don't you dare put my pen in there."

Tal: "The importance of life or whatever."

Bush: "Jet fuel can't melt steel beams."

Fiona: "You know it's good when your hand stings."

Amy: "Casual psychopathic Tal strikes again."

Dave the Rave: "It's not the music that defines me, I define the music."

Darragh: "Everybody with leprosy is lehappy"

"Tomatoes are people too."

"Are cows aware of their own mortality?"


Tal: "I had to fill the hole, so I filled it with drug addiction."

Killian (on the last day) : "Killian is sad like sad ox"

*Stuart to Dave and Darragh after he sees them shaking their hands for amusement*: "Did you just decide to become stupid today?"

Game Theory

Kevin: Hey Conor! Say something funny! Conor: I'm always saying funny things.

Everyone: It's basically surreal.

Eoin: She burnt ALL of their RICE!

Conor: I wish J'tia was a TA at CTYI. Then she'd be J'TA.

Dara: I just love mini fridges.

Kevin: Why is Putin cool?

Conor: This is why I hate Excel. It's a horrible horrible program designed by horrible horrible people.

Conor: No offense to those who believe in the Church of the Lizard People

Conor: Imagine you're on a bus with someone. I know. Crazy.

Penny: Is there any Game Theory in Naruto? Conor: Have a discussion about it. Feel free to lie.

Alice: What's the story, Voldemory?

Alice: Snow! (Snail no)

Ellie: What if we got really strong paperclips?

Alice: Those are chains.

Terence: Mmm, delicious fedoras!

Dara: On Mondays we wear SIG.

Conor: *Explaining mixed Nash Equilibria with an example about Darude and Skrillex concerts* Terence: But I thought Darude and Skrillex were the people doing the mixing?

Penny: Uptown fuck you up

Kevin: Story time with Megan! Yay!

Megan: Can you pass out?

Megan: Has anyone seen a tree before?

Terence: Conor, my starter Pokémon was a shiny! Conor: I don't know what those words mean, but I get that I'm supposed to be impressed, and I'm very proud of you, Terence. You get a prize!

Terrence: Downtown shank your nan, in front of tescos! (Sing to the tune of Uptown Funk)

Japanese Language and Culture

"I'm in it for the tentacles." - Andrew

"Sugar is not a bicycle." - TextFugu

"This (a bottle) is not Italy" - Thomas

"That's no moon..."- Diarmuid

"I don't autumn." -Caoimhe

"Spare me my life! Take anything you want! I was robbed by two men! I have a bad case of diarrhea!" - Japanese aerobics video.

"My microwave is broken." - Kieron, the RA.

"As you can see from this diagram, Obama, Leonardo and Freddy all reproduce asexually." - Thomas

"Two worms "ko"-habitating! That's what you said! That's amazing!"-RebeccaSensei

"What a ko-incidence" - Kate

"Fuck noodles" - Kate "

"I always fuck my onahole" - Weeb

*laughs* fuck noodles?" - Molly

"No, don't fuck noodles, that's messy." - Kate

"I'm not weird, you're simple" - Aislinn

"My new favourite pastime is lynching people" - Kate

"How do you say crotch bulge in Japanese?" - Conal

"After about the tenth ricecake, they start to taste weird" - Ciara

"Can I go to the bathroom?" - Calum

"Can you say it in Japanese?" - RebeccaSensei

"Yes" - Calum

"*sings* Everything's free in America" - Molly

"I'm not sure that's how it works. Everything's very expensive in America" - Aislinn

"Guys, who ate the chalk? We won't judge you, just tell us where it is." - Rebecca

"Personally, I hate orphans. They get all the best roles in fantasy. End orphan privilege now." - Conal

"Malachi is the prettiest girl in the room" - everyone except Iosaf

"Everyone has a cat fetish" -Iosaf

"Hey! Are those cat memes?!" -CiaraSuperSensei

"Jordan, you're ignoring Iosaf" -Ciara

"Oh, Iosaf you wanna go fuck the bathroom's free" *Iosaf stands up* *Both leave* -Jordan

"Hey, did you guys know there is a Buddhist Hell called "The Hell of the Flaming Cock"? -Aislinn

"I've got one hell of a flaming cock" -Diarmuid

"Give me something to hate" -RebeccaSensei

"Orphans" -Victor

*everyone laughs*

"No, no... how about puppies?" -RebeccaSensei

"NOOOO!" -Everyone

"The amount of men's asses I've seen today is ridiculous" - Kate

"Cat washing mamemes" - Molly

"Belgium is kinda fucked up"- Iosaf

"My mum is from Belgium"- Donal

Marine Biology

"Nemo is dead. And we killed him." - Adam

"So, there's this piece of plastic the size of Texas floating around the ocean, so why don't we send it into space?" -Sharon

"Rian, are you lost?" - Fergal

"Fergal, don't get lost." -Rian

"Dolphins are overrated." - Fergal

"We're Delta Task Force!" - Adam

"Stupid Jon, spilled my coffee" - Ciara

"Delta, go go go!" - Adam

"Shiniqua, the transgender squid" - Rian

"If we found a whale the size of Texas, would we have to send it into space?" - Fergal

"Inspire the children" - Hussain

"Rian, my Gerald is better than your Gerald" -Fergal

"Wouldn't you be inspired to become a diver if you heard about Cuzco exploring the deep?" - Hussain

Medicine A

[Stuff is amazing sometimes ~Dale 2k15]


"unvaccinated hippy babies"

"Ben is the tide"

"It's like they're all shuffling in a crab-like motion"

"Everyone's great aunt has colorectal cancer"

"He just produces long sandwiches from nowhere"

"That's not a quotable notable"

"I reckon people all got a little cray when they got their glasses"

"If I had melanoma I'd be really sad"

"I'd do something a bit illegal"

"They all started eating their hands and stuff"

"There's no way you can just stick a probe in some way and say "HA! you're over-reacting!""

"I felt I had to make up for insulting your mother's psoriasis"

"Low worth bate is bad for your baby" [birth rate?]

"There's this thing where you can just hang babies on clotheslines"

"Did you find your meaty place?"

"You should feel a chubsty bit of chubsty"

"You just have a blobby shoulder"

"Just stay off the munchies"

"Imagine a baby with congenital rubella"

"Where's my baby gone?!"

"My doctor gave me a lollipop"

"I lost my baby! What is life??!"

"Fungi are kind of like the zombies of the micro world"

"They grow anywhere that's kind of moist and warm"

"Blood scream"

"They're designed to be sooo mean!"

"Your kids are just infectious little spores"

"Ah, Zach- my beautiful mountain"

"All strong mountains"


"Reach down and touch your toes. Bend your knees generously as you do so"

"Pump them full of penicillin and pray"

"You'd be shlippin''d fall out of bed you're so shweaty"

"In Ireland there'll always be craic, and there'll always be antibiotics involved"

"The bacteria find you. The bacteria choose you."

"Lads, confiscate the balls"

"I am not going to use corporal punishment to keep you guys in check"

"Fintan has spoken! Sit down!!"

"That squad is on point"


"No context is the best context" -Ellen

"I don't want to learn about diabetes" -Ellen

"Gone are the days when we pump STDs into cats for the craic" -Lisa

"Rectal bleeding" -Ellen/Andrey

  • Tough shit
  • No shit
  • They know their shit
  • Poop Professors
  • Bloody stool

"No one would subject their child to some suspicious liquid" -Andrey

"Wow, your back is deformed! Don't take this cream!" -Ellen

Alex: "Find me a middle name"

Ellen: "I hereby christen you Alex Diabetes"

Overweight type 2 diabetic looking to lose weight wannabe -Aurora

-"Aurora wants to belong to the diabetes family"

-"Mother!! WHy AM I a SAUSAGE??!" -Ellen

"This is what I was thinking when Ellen was talking about her giant sausage" -Aurora

Ellen: My mom is allergic to the sun

Everyone: *stares in silence*

Andrey: So she's a vampire

Aoife: You're like Renesme!

"I was hoping to get rich with my body" -Ellen

The Hamster -Aurora, scarring everyone for life

-mesangio capillary glomelular nephritis

-Sonic the Hedgehog/Indian Hedgehog

-Diabetes = diarrhoea -Mat

"My friend says I'm an egg, it all fits!!" -Ellen

"Oh no, you can't find your hole" -Aurora -> Dale

"I incubate my eggs in your heart" -Ellen

Zac: "You're like, Peruvian..wait no, um..? What's it called??"

Ellen: "Do you mean Vitruvian?"

"I got farted on by an alpaca once" -Aurora

"Tobacco companies are like open sores on Satan's dick" -John Oliver

"Shove a camera up my rectum" -Ellen

"This is also gonna be a fun part because I have to squeeze you with one hand" -Ellen

"The femur is like a proud camel" -Mat

"It's really itchy but I don't think it's going to fit" -Ben

"I don't want to be hit in the leg with a hammer" -Lisa

Children = cancer -Mat

Mat: This is where things start to go wrong

Julia: Yeah, they become ginger

"Now, we are the Jacktan 5" -Ellen/Aurora/the Jacktans

Ellen: *odd noise*

Aoife: Was that you? I thought it was coming from the wall?!

-"How is your hot bod doing today?"

-"What does Torpedo the ghost do to you most often?"

"Oh no, leave Torpedo out of this" -Ellen

Comic suns = Comic sans -Jack

"Aurora just needs to relax morealis" -Ellen

"Do you think having a sausage gives you a hot bod?" -Aurora

"Look- I'm naked! Thank God, I love being naked" -Ellen

"Whale Oil Beef Hooked" -Jack

-"We harvest coke from diabetics"

-"Stop drawing penises in the cocaine Dale!" -Ellen

"Someday I will knock you off your high chair" -Ellen -> Dale

"Don't try to overdose on bananas" -Mat

-"Stop sticking things in my holes!"

-"I only authorise cameras up my rectum" -Ellen


"Oh yes, I was attracted to old men in my childhood" -Amy

Ellen: What happened to your hand?

Fintan: Alex happened

-"Dale don't you dare- you have a stack of females to go through!"

-"I want to poop in alignment with the Earth's magnetic field"

-"I will scream in your ear and you will pee"

-"You're a patronising poo"

-"I went to the news agents where Lukie-Pukie bought himself a bit of cola"

-"On the grass....*cries*" -Ellen

"Wait.. Dublin is a county..?" -Ben

"Make it pointy!" -Ellen

"What are you doing with your balls" Ellen -> Aurora

Alex: Your face is an artificial bladder

Aurora: Yes. My face is useful. It helps people pee

"I'm honoured to be the temple of the quote" -Ellen

"Would you leeet meeee see beneath your donkey face?" -Ellen

"Who needs blood when you look fabulous?" -Ben

"You are the cray-cray serial killer, Alex" -Ellen

-"Fintan's half apple, he's trying to protect his brethren"

-"It's like prostituting your organs"

-"I love molesting this foam, it's so soft and squishy"

"We'll have more difficulty beating jewellery" -Ellen

"I identify as Asian" -Caoimhe

-"Enda Kenny, take my body"

-"Caoimhe, your writing is my sexuality"

-"We are the number one dolphin"

-"Ice cream, blood scream" -Ellen

"It's bacteria non-conforming" -Aurora

Aoife: This is a urine sample

Ellen: Yum!

-"She's got like alien pregnancies on her back!"

-"You don't cut your face off,like!" -Ellen

Everyone: WHY, DALE

"They have such fun names but they're so not fun" -Ellen

"Have you ever seen the cat that goes nonono" -Ben

Lisa: It was really sore, I fell down and couldn't get up

Ben: I do that when I eat

"Why is my bottom buzzing?" -Ellen

"Oooh, meat stick" -Ellen

-"If they have a Y chromosome they are worth a conversation"

-"You'd be custard creaming it all over the place!" -Caoimhe

"Let me fondle the noodles!" -Ellen

"We don't have craic in Canada" -Aurora

"Ellen! It's not hard enough!" -Alex

-"Stop taking pictures of my sexy man face"

-"I told...I told...*weird Ellen noise*" -Ellen

"Have you got a portal to hell in your larynx?" -Jack

"Ellen, can you teach me how to finger? -Dale ;)

-"It's not painful if it's love"

-"It's not kidnapping if you're friends"

-"It's not murder if they don't have kids" -Ellen

"Stop molesting my lump" Ellen -> Dale

"Can I go further?" Dale -> Ellen

"I'm the newest play thing" -Ellen

Jack -> Caoimhe: Sorry, I saw the opening

Zac: Raunchy!

" smell better when you're awake" -Pádraig

"Will you be my moist sausage?" -Aurora

"He's crazy, he owns pigeons!" -Jack

"I am not looking at your big brown eyes, Aurora, you urban dictionary swan" -Ellen

-"Oh my God, it leaks when I squeeze it!"

-"Would you like a glucose fruit?" -Jack


"unvaccinated hippy babies"

"Ben is the tide"

"It's like they're all shuffling in a crab-like motion"

"Everyone's great aunt has colorectal cancer"

"He just produces long sandwiches from nowhere"

"That's not a quotable notable"

"I reckon people all got a little cray when they got their glasses"

"If I had melanoma I'd be really sad"

"I'd do something a bit illegal"

"They all started eating their hands and stuff"

"There's no way you can just stick a probe in some way and say "HA! you're over-reacting!""

"I felt I had to make up for insulting your mother's psoriasis"

"Low worth bate is bad for your baby" [birth rate?]

"There's this thing where you can just hang babies on clotheslines"

"Did you find your meaty place?"

"You should feel a chubsty bit of chubsty"

"You just have a blobby shoulder"

"Just stay off the munchies"

"Imagine a baby with congenital rubella"

"Where's my baby gone?!"

"My doctor gave me a lollipop"

"I lost my baby! What is life??!"

"Fungi are kind of like the zombies of the micro world"

"They grow anywhere that's kind of moist and warm"

"Blood scream"

"They're designed to be sooo mean!"

"Your kids are just infectious little spores"

"Ah, Zach- my beautiful mountain"

"All strong mountains"


"Reach down and touch your toes. Bend your knees generously as you do so"

"Pump them full of penicillin and pray"

"You'd be shlippin''d fall out of bed you're so shweaty"

"In Ireland there'll always be craic, and there'll always be antibiotics involved"

"The bacteria find you. The bacteria choose you."

"Lads, confiscate the balls"

"I am not going to use corporal punishment to keep you guys in check"

Medicine B

"I always thought he was very appropriate and mature and not innuendo-ish at all!"- Megan about Colm

"The Poor Gay Bastard"- Shrek/Dumbledore Fanfic

"They're so funny, it's not even funny"- Megan

"ABDUCTION! You lift the child away from you"- Jess, Megan and Molly

"Why doesn't the husband quit aswell to help her through this tough time?" " Cause husbands are dicks!" *covers mouth and looks shocked*- Megan and Molly

"Now there's a word"- Megan (x 10,000,000)

"Why aren't you wearing you're bracelet?" " cause it keeps getting attached to me" "... Emotionally?"- Megan and Molly

"DURTY!!!!!"- Colm, Megan, everyone else

*Jess and Molly burst into song*

"Dead arm vs Dead baby"- Shane, in smoking debate

"M: Aras an Uachtaran

J: Yeah I live there

M: I've seen you around there, I'm a cleaning lady

J:Yeah, I'm really Michael D.Higgins

M:That explains the height"- Megan and Jess

"I wrote a fanfic about me, a brick and a desk.... and an IPod, tyre and Rock"- Rian

"Be careful with Shane tomorrow, he'll be a little... fragile"- Brian

"CONGRATUALTIONS SHANE!! I remember when you were 22"- Jamie

"I get that it's meant to be a God metaphor, but it just comes off as pedophilic"- Molly

*Alex shoves grass up Colms nose* "That tickled my brain"- Colm

"Molly, you can grope me later"- Colm

"I didn't want to rub your crotch" " Anytime Megan"- Molly and Megan

"Fuck you Jesus! You can suck my dick" "Can I?"- Megan&Colm and AJ

"ANOTHER INNUENDO!!"- Megan and Colm

"You know, all my friends think I'm a lesbian"- Rionach

"That's why I shift guys, I don't know"- Rionach

"I don't do relationships" "You sound like Christian effing Grey"- Rionach

"Peter, do you want to stick your hand in Colms hole?" "Maybe Later"- AJ and Peter

"Right, d'you see when you were on about the meat and there was a picture of a steak cut into a question mark?" *Oscar nods* "What did you have to Google to find that picture?!?!"- Megan

"What relation do you think they are?" "Looks like the friendzone to me"- Molly and Shane

"Fancying someone doesn't mean anything. I mean I fancy Channing Tatum, but that doesn't mean he's gonna leave his wife and kid for me" "You never know" "Oh believe me, I have sent him many an email"- Megan and Molly

"Patryk, would you please make the first incision?"- Jamie, during a heart dissection

"Naggins boys, sesh!"- Rian

"She noticed us!!!"*screams* "Evanne O Riada knows our names!!!!!"- Jess and Molly

"I thought he was more into plants than people"- Molly

"If I can get him to lie down will you just do it and get it over with?"- Molly

"You smell like fruit" "That's because I'm so juicy"- Jess and Patryk

"I'm a single Pringle, no wait- I'm the Pringle at the end of the box that's all broken up and nobody wants to eat"- Megan

"Nice"- Richard (when Colm was "pimping")

"They're shifting like tectonic plates in Japan"- Andrew

*Slap fest* "Sounds like Fifty Shades of Grey"- Jess

"I nurtured grapes"- Brian

"You're tighter than a frogs pussy...... Watertight!"- Colm

"What's for dinner?" "I don't know, turkey?" "I don't know, dick?"- Colm, Peter and Andrew

*Siren goes off* "Sounds like Balbriggan"- Jess

"I love the word dick, it just rolls off the tongue"- Megan

"I'm gonna shank you with a carrot"- Rian

"Shank or be shanked"- Alex

"Spitters are quitters"- Colm

"When will we have gay sex, no homo?"


"When are we gonna play Club Penguin?"


"When are we gonna shank nans behind Tesco?"


"When will it be later, Colm?!?!"- AJ and Colm

"Last night was fun"- Jess

*Jess dictates the Pokemon theme song in an Australian accent*- Jess


"Apple trees grow in pears"- Molly

"I'd love to contour a guys chest"-Molly

"When I look down it gets harder"- Jess (staring competition)

"You're sweating like a gypsy with a mortgage/ like a pedo in a Barney suit"- Colm

Music Production

"Don't make me laugh, the xenomorph is going to burst through my chest at any minute." - Hailey

"Bob's Employment Centre for Peurto Rican children, because you're never too young to mine." - Kevin

"Ayo fam wat do blad" - Kevin to his TA

"I love me a minstrel show, Mama." - not sure

"(looks up and sees someone dressed as The Stig) I fucking hate this place" - Jacqui

"Happy birthday Lian!" - everyone

"I thought it was hairy, then I realised it wasn't" - Claudia

"A hat killed his entire family." Bala, referring to Oisin

"Guys, guys...I've got something in my eye- IT'S PERFECTION!" - Claudia

"(scowls) You fed me meat...I didn't want your meat." - Sarah B.

"Woah, Lian has tentacles!" - Kevin again

"Don't spread me to death bitch!" - Lian

"That is a quote and a half!" Raymond

"(looks at Jacqui) Please be gay" - Claudia

"Slippery, slippery Tiernan." - everyone

"Whatever you say, mister perfect diabetic" - Hailey

"Drop the beat, don't drop the Mac" - Jacqui and Claudia

"That was Trey Songz out of nowhere" - Julian

"85 and I'm feeling alive" - Jacqui

"I'm so into the music I drink the beet" - Aoife

"When you lick the trolley" - Kevin

"Did you ever get an electric shock from licking the trolley" - Kevin

"Deadly" - Laura and Claudia

"Is Adolf Hitler one of the members? (of Panic! at the Disco)" - Julian

"Jamaican Blowhole is actually really cool" - Julian

"Jacqui, what are you doing?" "Cleaning my sausage." - Jacqui

"My Aesthetic is Brendon Urie's hair flick at the end of the acoustic version of This is Gospel" - Eavan

"Low Calorie Grunge" - Ray


"Sneaky Brontosaurus wail" - Julian

"the Red Hot Chili Pepes" - Kevin

"Hello! It is me!" - Julian

"Possibly Urine" - Julian

"The Five Star Pizza of Brontosaurus" - Julian

"Americas Next Top Brontosaurus" - Julian

"Britans Got Brontosauri" - Óisín

"I was scared of dentists and the dark, I was scared of pretty girls AND LEARNING OTHER FUCKING SONGS"- Kevin

"Phil Lynnots got nothing on my dad" - Eavan

"Same" - Claudia

"SAME" - everyone else

"Hey guys I sound pregnant!!" - Claudia

  • sings careless whisper to Hailey* "NOOOOOOO" - everyone to Hailey

"it's like when you get a really ugly dog and you have to learn to love it" - Julian

"Kevin is the ugly dog" - Sarah B

"He's (Kevin) sad and tragic shift him" - Tuan to Sarah B

"We'll have our own casino night with blackjack and hookers" -Ruairí

"Put it on the Album" - Ray

"I'm not a fornication lad" -Kevin

"Stop drinking my D" - Claudia


"I wish I was a pregnant woman in England." - Slippery Slippery Tiernan

"Jacqui keeps licking me on the sly" - Claudia


*claps rhythmically* - class motto

"Dust in the wind dude." - class motto

"Most bodacious." - everyone

"So basically two plus two equals despair." - Nitai

"Sorry I'm late; time's not real, but that queue was." - Nitai

*adds capital letters to stuff* *suddenly the stuff means a slightly different thing* - everyone

"I thought the father of existentialism was the first person to take a shower alone." - Nitai

"Dislocate yourself from those ruffians!" - Izzy (TA)

"There's going to be a brass band coming through here at some point." "I probably wouldn't be annoyed with that because at least they announced themselves." - Alan and James

*fails to say the Kierkegaard quote* - everyone but Ducky

"We're going on break already because all of you are cabbaged." - James (Instructor)

"The ideal Chair has always been there. Always." - Nitai

"I just Kant." - originally Alan, but everyone

"Hegel was more of a bagel guy." - Jack

"I would become religious to disagree with Hegel." - Nitai

"We need to Kierkegaard ourselves." - Alan

"I think the Chair should be the subject. It has a better viewpoint than any of us." - Nitai

"Where do I stop and the Chair begin?" - James

"Inherently..." - everyone

"DESPAIR!" - everyone

"Bridget, you can take off those sunglasses, the world is dark enough..." - James

*drops marker* "You are dead to me." - James

"Are you going to keep talking or something?" - Ruairí to Izzy

"Let's take another stab at Hegel." "Please." - James and Nitai

"Maybe the jews deserved to die" - Nitai

"Would Plato view marriages as Platonic?" - Jack

"But Alan I love you!" "Platonically!" "I DIDN'T SAY THAT JAMES!" - Nitai and James

"Has there ever been a super narcissistic philosopher?" - Emmet

"If I use a chair as a table does it become a table?" - Emmet

"Just. DO IT." - Nitai

"Dialectically I both am and am not Madonnna." - James

"So a blind person, they can't see." - Bridget

"I think therefore I is, yo." - Nitai

"As a philosophy class, we're killing a lot of ants." - Nitai

"Dandy." - Reece

"I want to buy that man a muffin basket!" - Reece about Nietzsche

"Can you measure a loser's sadness?" - everyone

"Can we make a song called "Moves like Taggart"?" - Nitai

"Fuck it, I probably am a sociopath." - Nitai

"Don't throw that apple at me, I break easily!" - Reece

"Fix your mouth!" - Reece

"I don't know if they're going to be smart enough to get that..." - Sinéad about Game Theory

"Economics is bullshit anyway!" - James

"Good to see you're suitably psyched to knock the shit out of Game Theory." - James

"Pass the meme!" - Ducky

"Is I real?" - James

"This is not existential because you are existing. It's just that nothing else is real." - James

"Oh my god. I'm so fake. Oh my god." "Baudrillard doesn't care!"- Sinéad and James

"This is all I've written. It's two lines. 'Nothing is real. Everything is fake." - Emmet

"G with a capital G... for God." - James

"Is Jesus...real?" - Alan

"Have there been any cheerful philosophers?" "None worth studying." - James



"ROBANTICS" - Everyone (originally coined by Katie, god bless her)

"Cheeky NAND gate" - Senan

"Cheeky Nantes" - Eoin's phone's autocorrect

"Kevin is such a precious cinnamon roll" - Kate

"Don't be such a fourth monkey" - Stephen

"We're all 17 it's legal" - Katie

"They're not round, they're circular" - Hanna

"It's really soft and warm" - Alex

"I was going for a three-way" - Darragh

"I don't have herpes da da da" - Stephen

"Can we watch the end of Iron Man?" - Everyone

"Are you stupid? Horses don't cry" - Hanna

"It can jump really, really, REALLY high" x 20 - Claire

"How can the robot interact with the world around it?" - Domhnall "A knife!" - Claire

"BATMAN no parents. Bambi sad. Aerial no mom didney why" - Search history on one of the computers.

"I should only be taken seriously on dire emergencies. Like a fire extinguisher. You laugh at me, you draw faces on me, but when you need me, I'm there" - Hanna

"The Shoelace Gremlin strikes again!" - Hanna/Katie

"Filthy weeb trash" - Kate

"Buzzfeed trash" - Stephen

"Domhnall our Supreme Leader" - Everyone

"Twenty to forty pages by Friday? Twenty it is so" - Eoin

"Self-Directed Learning" LOL ""

"FERGUS NO" - Everyone

*gets killed by "Feminism" in*

"This is why we need meninism" - Stephen

"Carry the butter in your hand and pretend it's your phone"-Hanna

"Line your jacket with teabags"(When going through airport security)-Katie

"Guys, can you dismantle the cow please"-Domhnall (instructor)

"I had him! His epicentre was in my mass" - Alex

"Lads, do you ever think that engineers at like google or somewhere get like really fed up and like you know, go like "lads, lads, let's go get a cheeky NAND Gate"?" - Mark Jennings

"Wait we weren't supposed to take apart the robot?!?!" - Darragh Glynn

"t's just two huge balls" - Magnus "My balls are really far apart too" - maghnus

"He is two huge balls and just about merging" - maghnus

"Oh my god it's Asia, it's huge and it puked on me!" - maghnus

"I'm just going to sit here and eat all of these balls" - maghnus

"My balls are getting further and further apart and I'm being chased by the salad queen"- maghnus

*drives robot off table, robot hits ground and breaks, inserts chip backwards and robot emits large amount of smoke, robot is dead* "oh shit. Oops".  - Fergus

"I rebuilt my bed out of plutonium. I like the glow." - Fergus

"Start pulling out..." Matthew "Who's doing the dick"-John

"That would be me this time"-Tommy

"Awh..... Kevin got eaten by aliens"-James

"SHUT UP BEN"-Everyone

"We're meant to do anything that motivates us!"-Stephen "..Facebook"-Eoin

"Goddammit I don't understand thumbs" - Kate

Social Psych B

"I ate a squirrel on the way over today" - James

"Murdering people, for example, that would be unethical." - Aela

"How energy Efficient is your ass?" - Katie

"Isabelle the ass merchant" - Saorla

"Matty, how much weekly activity does your ass get?" - Daniel

*On phone* "Here, I have to go, she's after stealin' me fuckin pizza" - Daniel [About Saorla]

"Darragh" - Fuckin everyone at some point

"Shneaky Skerma" - Katie, Saorla, Kate, etc.

*Chanting* "Sy-phil-is! Sy-phil-is!" - Saorla

"I legally own your ass" - Isabelle

"Did I tell you about that time I was kidnapped by a donkey?" - Daniel

"My brother shat in a washing machine" - Saorla

"Mark, you are clinically Handsome" - Daniel

"Oh Mark, such symmetry" - Katie

"Let me touch the doodly-doo" - Saorla

"'Ello there..." - Saorla, at al

"Merry Clissmas!" - Saorla, Kate, Louise

"Stop assuming the world revolves around you and your doodly-doo" - Kate [to Daniel]

"Okay, NO MORE LICKING!" Joanne, TI [to Saorla]

"I broke sexuality. I am a great, nebulous sexuality that kinsey cannot pin down" - Isabel

"How much do cat anti-depressants cost?" - Saorla

"Awesome" - Joanne

"The thonge song!" - Saorla

"One word: Lactation" - Aela

"I'm going to be sold into the sex slave industry, and the profits will be used to buy more cattle" - Daniel

"If I had 30 boyfriends they could all buy me shoes" - Kate

"I am worth 7 goats" - Saorla

"I'm worth 9!" - Kate "Why are you worth more goats than me?!?!" - Saorla

"I would give my entire family for Taylor Swift" - Saorla

"10 goats for the burger!" - Kate

"Damn? 'Sexual Confusion'?" - Aela "Wouldn't that be Isabel?" - Larissa

"Keep your clothes on, Saorla" - Daniel

"You need to Worship the old white Arseholes" - Joanne, TI

"One sin? Why have one sin when you could have a multitude of sins?" - Isabel "That's a moral for life, Isabel" - Emma, TA

"Is this like, a shoulder threesome?" - Isabel

"Hello Children, would you like some home insurance?" - Oz

"I have some home insurance in the back of my van, kids" - Ferdia

"Eugenics had the right idea" - Daniel

"Not related to social psych" - Emma, so very often

"Okay google, do chimpanzees have sex facing each other?" - Oz

"Bonobos gaze into one anothers eyes..." - Oz

"Why won't the orangutans share their god damn cups" - Saorla

"The bread represents my womb" - Oz

"Click it and your ass gets bigger" - Joanne, TI

"You haven't said anything quotable yet, Ciara, would you like to get quoted?" - Daniel "Not Really" - Ciara Rooney, 2015

"I could write a book on that. Paedophile Intentions" - El

*Daniel tries to do puppy dog eyes*

"If a puppy looks like that, they generally put them down" - Mark

"I just hit inanimate objects; tables, chairs, Oz..." - Daniel

"I am on Fire today." - Kate

"I feel the academic community would never accept me" - Daniel "I'm finding it hard to accept you" - Kate

"I was a sexual deviant in 4th class" - Kate

"I think the radio was a really neat invention" - Conor

*Wistfully* "Silly genitals, silly genitals..." - Conor

"Do they look straight to you? Just sayin'" - Conor [on the topic of flamingos]

"See, when I sent my phone for a swim, I got a new phone so I wouldn't have the same problem" - Kate "What that really the fault of the phone? If I was the phone, I'd get a new Kate" - Daniel

"I am noping out of this situation" - Katie

"I want to detach one of his appendages. Only one though, I'm being nice" - Saorla

"It's like Medieval YOLO" - Saorla

"Dolphins are REALLY racist" - Oz

"There was this dolphin, and he was from the Atlantic, and he went to the Pacific, to meet up with some other Dolphins, but they killed him, because of his accent" - Oz

"Do you think babies evolved to be cute so they don't get eaten as much?" - Ferdia

"Hugo will probably be generally aroused" - Joanne's lecture Slide

"If I start throwing buckets at ye, who knows what'll happen next" - Joanne

"We're going to be child abusers who die age 40 of heart disease!" - Saorla "We may abuse children, but at least we aren't around for long" - Isabel

"The participant will receive an Eclectic Should" - Joanne

"I'm from Limerick, I'll stab you with my butter knife" - Andreea

"You like, put it into your mouth, and it's like aw this is alright, and then it isn't" - Kate

"Now I feel like, if I don't touch the crotch, and I'm on the stairs, that I'll have a bad day" - Grace

"I should hope you're not gonna lick his feet" - Kate

"I saw a picture of a bucket full of babies, and all their hands were coming out over the edge and it was so cute" - Ferdia

"I was gay because I was bored" - Isabel

"Men prefer slimmer wimmer" - Joanne, TI

"What about the gays?" - Kate

"I love the smell of clean babies" - Saorla

"What were you guys in the back looking at?" - Joanne, TI "Incest!" - James "Yeah, basically" - Oz

"If I spend an hour talking to my grandad, maybe he'll give me a fiver" - Joanne, TI

"If you can't keep it in your pants, keep it in the family" - Saorla

"Jennifer Connoly, Fair game" - Hugh


"Do you value your knee caps?" - Richard

"We're looking for PASSION! FIRE! DISNEYTUDE! and a FOURTH SYNONYM!" - Andrew

"Disney PASSION!" - Andrew

"Hey guys, quiet for a sec! Listen up! All the arcs are here so I just have one question to ask you all....

WHAT TEAM?!" - Andrew

"That's banned now" - Matt RA

"Well I spent years training with the archbishop of Banterbury" - Andrew

"I'm going to say it anyway, but now I like to know who I'm saying it to" - Edele

"So now the fun bit is over" *changes slide to fire safety rules* *Entire hall erupts in cheers/laughter* "I see some of you were here before" - Louise

"OH SHIT, OH CRAP" - Richard

"Have a happy monday morning"- Andrew

"Well actually that has nothing to do with psychopathy..." - Cian, RA

"You're not allowed to touch the potato" - Richard

*Singing* - Andrew

"I used to be a vegan cake delivery boy"-Cian

"Don't be sad....Sad spelt backwards is Das...and Das no good.." - Katie

"The noodles of friendship are all around you"-Cian

"Today I feel 60% croissant" - Cian

"Thanks, i made it myself. Out of money." -Andrew (on the topic of his hat)

"I am sorry the sound of children's laughter offends you" - Sinéad (On the bus to UCD)

"FIENDS!!" - Will



"Hello, it is me." - Julian

"Possibly urine." - Julian

Mairead: Come on guys go to bed.

Mairead's RA group: But Mairead.

Mairead's RA group: Gossip!


Mairead: *leans closer* go on.

"ILY A MILLY" - Katie

Andrew: Hear that Paul? Andrew means manly.

"No messhin', no fightin', no biblical smitin' " : Paul and Andrew



I can words. - Jack Moore. Session 1, Wednesday 1/7/2015

I hate it when you bacon.- Fergus Mc'Loughlin

"I'm not an umbrella Kevin!" - Ella

You're so mentally damaged.-(To Jack Moore) Cillian Russell.

"Oh 800 pigs, not 800 kids" - Eoin O'Donnell

"Better incest than nocest" - Hugh

"I don't want to think about David Bowie accosting people"-Molly "That's all he does in the movie. He just appears like *dramatic glide*"-Victor

"There's this girl in Homestuck with the ability to become a badass pirate or become a weasel of unusual size with an 8-sided die" - Victor "Are you talking about my life?" - Kate

"But they're all guys! There's no one to fuck!" - Kate

(about Putin) "Oh Vlad the Vampyr?" - Kate

"Do you want a pillow or something?" - Kate "No, I'm fine so long as I'm not on the spiky bit" - Molly

"You're a goddess!" - Kate and Molly "Fine, as long as I'm Aphrodite" - Padraig

  • uncontrollable coughing* - Grace "Hold on! I can do the Heimlich!" - Molly "I have hay fever" - Grace

"Don't fuck shit. It's messier than noodles" - Kate

"You've never worn lipstick?" - Kate "It's a weird sensation" - Padraig

"It's not as bendy as I thought it was" - James

"The sportalians get yoghurts" "So do we" "Well they get better yoghurts" - Cormac

"You will be killed in a way that complies with the rules" - Alice

"Because haha Hugh-man" - Hugh

"For the HD Banter" - Aleca and Ella

"Hey Emmet" - Jack

"Is that microwave popcorn?" "No, just lightly toasted" - MCs

"I feel like sleep is a thing that should happen" - Ella

"We broke the scale!" - Aleca and Isabel

"I use autocorrect because dyslexia means I can't spell anything" "It's A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G" - Aleca & Zac

"The scale just doesn't understand me!" "The at is the most teenage-angsty thing I have ever heard" Aleca & Zac

"Some say Ukraine, I say Mykraine" - Kate & Molly

"I feel like people should say groovy more often" - Unknown

"you look like you're on a bouncy castle" - Ella

"I wouldn't trust myself with Hugh's penis" - Sally

"The 7th Doctor endured the worst kind of death - death by the US healthcare system!" - Someone in Doctor Who Appreciation

"My side hoe is cheating on me" -Kevin

"It was we didn't start the fucking fire" - Kate "I know, but I couldn't say it because it was shit!!" - Darragh

"#justdonkeythings. Staring at the side of the barn" - Fintan

"If we put microwave popcorn into the toaster, and put that into the microwave, will we travel through time?" - Conol

"Hi! I'm Ella, this is my roommate who skips" - Ella

"I rebuilt my bed out of plutonium. I like the glow." - Fergus

"Maggie fisting the other baby-wait....."-Katie

"It's not authentic without the scars, scars are like STDs. They're proof" - jack

"I was fairly sure he was gay for the first two years that I knew him" - Fiona

"Cheeky Milano's" - Rhona

"I donut" - maghnus

"I know a good hiding place, the freezer" - maghnus

"Feel the wrath of our dildos" - Fiona

"I have sticky stuff all over my hands and legs from the dildo" - Fiona

"You take the dildo" - Fiona "oh it's fine I already have one" - Dylan

"I can barely stand" - ana "I can barely stand... This disco!!" - Darragh

"I thought you were using darraghs hand" - Senan - "oh god no I wouldn't trust that hand for anything" - Ellen

"Some people just want to eat their own cookies..."  - Ellen

"I was just taking it away from him(Darragh) so it wouldn't dip in" - Ellen

"There's not really much inside space in them" - Ellen

"Not time for going to the hospital I'll just do it here on the street" - oz

"I'll always have a pair of latex gloves, I'll just reuse them" - Ellen

"There's a ginger pussy on your legs" - oz

"What kind of diseased cat are you(Darragh)" - Ellen

"I did that in my costume last night" - Ellen

"You're such a needy cat" - Ellen - "I don't even know what I want just give it to me. Meow" - Darragh

"I hate those things because sometimes when you swallow they get stuck in your throat and it's painful" - Darragh

"That kid's got stamina" - oz

"My hand keeps getting wet" - oz

"Sneezed on the beat and the beat got sicker!" -Kevin, Ray and Laurie

"It was just threatening to stab me with a shiv made of semen" - Ellen

"You don't eat cucumbers for the taste, you eat them for the texture..." - Oz - "and the money" - Darragh

*pained voice* "it was so short!!" - Fiona

"My finger isn't strong enough" - Amy "Use your thumb" - Senan

"You are a posh drugby school" - Fiona

"Just shove your hand in" - Rhona

"It was so intense. There was balloons" - Katie

"I now know in the double-digits of Hughs" - Aleca

"What's the technical name for your armpet?" "My arm-pet is a monkey called Gerald" - Aleca & Ella

"Don't fuck the pigeons Oz" - Fiona

"I can't find a comfortable positions" - Oz

"Portable glory holes #justgirlythings" - fiona

"God now my hands are sticky too" - Dylan

"The air is mild and moist" - Darragh

"Look how big that banana is, it's like a foot big, oh god there's two of them" - aoife

"He died as he lived. Lathered in peanut butter while being whipped by a priest." - Conal

"We'll dress you as an 80s chick" - Molly "But I'm a 90s bitch!" - Padraig

"I haven't tied my shoelaces in 4 months" - Ryan

"One day I'm going to make a door. I won't have a house, but that won't stop me from having a door. And I'll have stuff holding it in the ground so I can lean on it, and when someone's annoying me I can just slam it in their face." - Ryan

"I've bet away my wife and children" - Saorla, playing poker

"Is it inappropriate to buy our RA condoms?" - Daniel

*Whispering frightfully to Andrew on the bus back from Blanch*"We're driving through Ballymun singing Pokemon..."

"I did not consent to the taking of those selfies" - Kieron, RA

"Split the diff!" - Aaron

"I'm not a west Cork racist, I'm just a racist" - Genivieve

"Jacqui, why are you undressing?" - Daniel

"Give me some words to describe Nutella"- Kieron(RA) "Moist" -Hailey

"My floor has an erection" - Daniel "I think it's looking at you..." - Lee

"Aaron get your fuckin foot out of the fuckin sink" - Lee

"Adam stop hitting my fucking biscuits with my fucking microwave" - Aaron

*Wearing tights* "I feel so free! Weeheehee!" - Aaron

"The balloon fought back!" - Lee

"They were SLOTH babies!" - Ferdia

Laurie: "The T stands for smart!" Diarmuid "No, the T stands for toddler."

"You sound like a German porn star" - Niamh Cotter

"Why do you ask me for advice, I'm literally like a potato!!" - Kate Collins

"Everybody with leprosy is le happy" - Darragh Sutcliffe

"Fortunately the quotes that I have are 'thank god for my crotch' " - Fiona

"That's a very straight banana" - Fiona

"One of the years it was like 'oh god why won't you stop licking me' " - fiona

"My friends do have a habit of putting their mouths on me" - Fiona 

"Do you think table etiquette is a fucking joke?! Is it a fucking joke to you?!" - Oz

"If I had a bit more length I could have it in my pocket" - fergus

"The trays are only wet when I walk into the canteen" -Hailey

"Is there anything that doesn't suck?" - Eoin - "Lesbians" - Ben

"Anything with a bunch of meat on it is the best, I'm all about that meat" - Senan

"It's too small for me, it needs to be HUUUUGGGEEEEE" - Fiona

"Now try doing it with one finger *gets disapproving look from Fiona*, ok two then" - Dylan

"Was it the story about them licking me, or them biting me?" - Fiona

"Well you could try lengthening it with a block of wood" -Conal "oh yeah, bitches love getting splinters in their vagina" -Kevin

"You've got to kidnap the queen and then force her into prostitution" - jack

"Your nickname for me was 'whore' " - Fiona

"So you're saying he paid his mouth herpes to change into hand herpes?" - tal

"Oh look free syringes" - Ben

"Nothing cheers me up like a good old penis" - Fiona

"Could you ever have a sly NAND gate?" - Katie

"Oh look it's a stripper, I like strippers" - fergus

"He just vibrates whenever he wants, he's not allowed to do that" - maghnus

"Seva's giant penis kept them alive" - fintan

"Why use mouthwash when you can use bleach?" - jack

"Edle, eedle, eedle, siteeashean" - Lauren

"I ship it like fedex" - Sasha


THE "T" IS FOR SMART!!!- Everyone

"I like badgers"- ?

"Gerald" - Fergal

"Here's a scary picture of Thomas the Tank Engine" - Tuan

"Katujicargitarnirlu" - Language Club

"Gurno, GurnoGurno, GurnoGurno, GurnoGurno, Aisling! Aisling, AislingAisling, Aisling..." -Gurno's Girlos & RAs

"Don't call me Rory. You do NOT want to see what happens when you call me Rory." - Claire

"The C is for Cult"

[upbeat tone]"I feel sick!" -Diarmuid

Session 2

App Design & Development

Art & Design

"Martha Stewart tm electric kettle whisk" - Andrew


"It's powered by the moving power of the earth" - Louise

"Hey Andrew, you have pretty small hands. Small handrew." - Alison

"Don't talk shit about my pastel aesthetic" - Andrew

"pastel ab" - Grace

"Radrew" - Izzy

"I didn't shift the pigeon, I shifted it" -andrew

"I did not have sexual relations with a pidgeon" - Andrew

"Love shaft" - Andrew

Alison: "Hey mrelin" Andrew "hey mrelin" Merlin "hey mrelin"

Rhona "does anyone ever just do nothing?" Berry "yeah" Rhona "and what happens when you do nothing?" Berry "nothing"

"soft and powerful. deep pleasure. silicon pleasure orb"

The entire concept of the pleasure orb

"I am the harbinger of homework, death and despair" - Izzy

"harbringer" - Andrew

"yenno that pokemon with spiky hair? ash, yeah thats right" - Louise

"who's Mr.Elin?" - Louise

"pearl is gayer than two lesbians inside a bigger lesbian" - Andrew

"jesus is fed up with your bullshit" - Alison

"jesus wants a crisp" - Alison

"so if I roll a 1, 2, or 3 Merlin dies and if I roll a 4, 5 or 6 I die" - Andrew

"full and ripe" - Documentary

"27 sounds manafactured in a wall" - Alison

"Tastes like I shifted an oompa loompa" - Alison

(to Andrew and Alison) "I think the teacher thinks you're a couple, and straight" - Merlin

"We're a couple and we're straight" - Alison + Andrew

(to eric) "stop with your foxrock humor" - Alison + Andrew

"I want to see youngster joey with no shorts on" - Grace

"homies on the street" - homies on the street

"squad goals. squoals" - Alison + Andrew + Merlin

"we are not putting on finger family" - Izzy

"stop watching finger family!" - Izzy

Izzy: "pepe, wake up." Alison: *pepe face* Izzy: "8/10 pepe, not bad for a speed round"

Behavioural Psychology A

"So this study was done cause some kids got up and did some serious school shootings" -Jamie. "So does that mean there's unserious school shootings?" - everyone

"In my nightmares im walking in a field of wheat when all my teeth fall out and there's no dentist anywhere" - Aislinn TA

"Every criminals a snowflake, no two are the same" - Julie

"Owen are you doing your project?" - Aislinn TA "Ye of course" -Owen "Then why are you putting a Joseph Sweeney wallpaper on Julies computer" "um...."

"I will shove that camera so far down your throat that you can make a documentary of your digestive system" Joseph

"Can't make an omelette without breaking some eggs"- Darragh

"I like to produce a big fat dirty epic dubstep tune"- Smirnoff man

"That was an absolute duvet of a blanket statement"- Sinead

"Psychology is witchcraft"- Fedor

"No such thing as a creative Virgin" Aislinn

"Normalisation is just.. Making things non-abnormal"- Victor

"You know the way the 50s were before the 60s..."- Owen

"Rory is a poo or whatever"- Eimear

"Listen there's no reason this shouldn't be going down the hole"- Andrew

"I actually can read for your information"- Jaime

"Guys you need to prepare for the debate"-Aislinn "Don't worry its baby psych"- Darragh *Class proceeds to lose debate*

"ba da ba ba ba, unethical"- Fedor's ad group

"I don't need this hat any more.Do you hear me?I DONT NEED IT"- Harry

Behavioural Psychology B

"[Matilda]'s like the hunger games" - TA Megan

"I drink straight milk" - Megan "Not from homosexual cows though" - Joseph

"" - Calum

"Life tips from Megan" - Megan *Finger Snaps*

"No one cares your cousins, Liam" - Megan

"There should be no pictures of Adolf Hitler in your presentations" - Megan

"It's the mandatory medical vest" - Mathias

"Psych squad assemble" - Everyone

"I have a phobia of Bear in the Big Blue House" - Evan

"I miss Noah" - Sophie

"Who wore [the mandatory medical vest] better?" - Mathias

"It doesnt matter where you come from in the world, teenage boys are all the same" - Megan

"UUUUUGGGGGHHH Guys!" - Megan (Repetitively)

"Don't call our TA a scrub" - Andrew

"Megross was here" - The board

"CTYI 2K7 plus 1" - Megan

"Where's my towel?" - Megan

"Did she just get murdered to death?" - Niall M

"I'm just bleeding a little bit" - Mathias

"I'm such a benevolent, all loving mayor. Why do I have to keep reminding people that? Yes, I kill my citizens, but they have a great quality of life." - Joseph

"All the other civilization has died... Oops" - Liam

[Doge 2048] is like visual cocaine" - Mathias

"I love the ground... it's so sparkly" - Niall R

"You're a scrub" - Everyone

"Did you put that fork there or did I?" - Liam

"It's not unethical, it's just genocide" - Calum

"I'm not used to seeing buses" - Sarah

"Liam, that's our friendship! Don't put it on people's heads" - Sophie T

"Don't fake it til you make it, fake it until you become it!" - Everyone

"Don't be rude send a nude. Be nice send it twice" - Liam

"I swear to god if I hear 'dank' one more time" - Megan

"I wake up in the morning and think to myself: I need to wash my hair" - Megan

"Crack that whip" - Liam *in a camp voice*

"He will be banging his shaft all day long" - Aiesha

"We need to get seven girls from the basement" - Megan

"The coke bottle is really cold" - Joseph "It's from me. The cold is from my heart" - Megan

"Jesus was caramel" - Evan

"We all have that stage in life when we're smaller than an ice cream tub" - Niall M

"They have naked elevators!" - Caroline

"It's like shifting your cousin... Or son" - Mathias

"Who touched me?!" - Caroline

"I don't know how long I could go without my tinker bell dress" - Joseph

"I aspire to be like Hitler" - James

"I'm a thirteenie now" - Niall R

"I'm wish I was Rosa Parks" - Niall R

"Oh my god glitter just fell out of my hair" - Liam "It's because you're gay" - Joseph

"Liam, you know how to do make up?!" - Joseph "Yeah, I'm gay" - Liam


"Does that say porn or porin?" -cathal

"You just gotta be on email these days" -tadgh

Aryan race - everyone

Computer Gaming

"The wall thinks its moving but really the people are moving around it" - Stephanie

"Bananarama was the event,not the thing" - Ciaran

"Would you like a banana?" - Andrew

"There's always room for unknown liquids." - Stephanie

"Glorious Leader Edition" - Everyone

"DOGE" - Everyone

"Minnie Mouse is Kim Jong Un" - Ciaran

"We're not Sonic fans. We're Sanic fans" - Conor

"We're not looking at Pokemon conspiracies" - Richard


"Computer Gaming is nothing but dank memes" - Stephanie

"Luigi's a communist" - Ryan

"I cannot give marks to Vladimir Putin" - Richard

"The cookies we purchased were unsastisfactory" - Conor

"For the purposes of this game explode is a verb" - Dáire

"The app to end friendships" - Stephanie

"Play Actual Cannibal Shia La Beouf" - Everybody

"Ryan is secretly Nic Cage promoting his own movies"

"Batman would be such a terrible Dora. Shut the fuck up map." - Stephanie

"Actually, it's pronounced gife" - Stephanie

"No real life rickrolling either" - Aoife

"I feel naked. I like it." - Stephanie

"You look like a tribe dressed in towels" - Richard

"No more firing nerf guns in class" -Richard

Richard: "Why do you all like Sonic so much?" Class: "SANIC" "GOTTA GO FAST" Richard: "Okay. I'm never asking that again."

"This is Pott Scilgrim, a totally original character. Definitely not Scott Pilgrim." - Stephanie

"Kim K, best game" - Ryan

Class: "I LOST THE GAME" Richard: "That's not still a thing is it?" Class: "Yeah" Richard: "Ah lads"

"Mobile games need more sleeve ripping" - Ciarán

"It's basically pick pocketing you through your phone" - Ciarán (about Candy Crush)

"Shia LaBeouf is master race"

"Stop picking on Sonic Boom, it's too easy a target" - Richard

"Can trolls even be sexy?"


"Sonic Boom is so good, the gameplay and story are impecable." - Mark

"The google translate version is better" - Ryan (about Actual Cannibla Shia La Beouf)

"Be whoever you want to be." "What if I want to be Kim Kardashian" "Don't"

"Can we watch Shrek It Ralph. It's a real thing."

"No shreking Ralph. What did he do to deserve this."


Law A

“Rebecca has no family or friends” –Gabi

“It all started with marijuana” –Tom

“All I know is I wanna make friends with you everywhere…ugh…in the shower” –Tom

“When I was a kid, I used to eat chalk” –Gabi

*applause at every mention of Karl’s name*

“Conor is bitter” –everyone, literally everyone.

“Never move on from the wenches” –Tom

“I don’t believe in helping people” –Kevin

“Whether we do it here or do it with philosophy, I know it will get some people going” –Yvanne

“I’m wondering if Tom thinks Indians aren’t human” –Conor

*Rebecca laughing* “It’s just Sean’s face” –Hugh

“I really need to know the origin stories of Quinn supermarket” –Tom

“Girls are not as important as males” –we know who

“If one of us goes down…please don’t let it be me” –Conor (about his pregnant wife)

“I’m not throwing anyone under a bus, I’m putting her in jail” –Conor (elaborating on his pregnant wife)

“Casual commerce” –The Supreme Courts

“Used surrogates on craigslist” –Tom

(about legislation for surrogacy) “Can we have something like the Sale of Goods & Supply of Services Act?” –Conor

“How do you make a dead baby Kosher?” –James

“Let’s all feel Jerry for a while.” –James

“Just have a giant three-way” –Gabi

“You touched all of us Karl” –Conor

Gabi: “Incest is best, why go across the city when you can go across the hall?” 

James: (who is roomed opposite Conor) “Heyyyyyyy Conor”

“Look at us mass-debating together”

“Master Debator”


-Conor and Hugh

“Anything but sodomy” –Gabi

“Goodbye to Conor’s knees” –Gabi

“If you sank you didn’t drown” –Yvanne

“I love how long your thing is” –Gabi, to Michéle

“Demonology” –Yvanne, trying to explain phrenology

“When you cut back the hedge, the tree looks bigger” –James

“My love, my saviour, my everything, my king” –Sean

“I thought midwifes were just an association of people who gave birth to help other people give birth” –Tom

“Wait, are we actually having class” –Caoimhe, trying to sleep

“Sex marriage” –Yvanne

“Racism is like communism” –Colm

“Yes, my uterus is just filled with sperm” –Accused #1

“I don’t wanna think of you doing it in your rooms” –Karl

“Sounds like someone who didn’t get into trinity” –Karl

“There’s no windows on the bars” -Michéle

"LAW LAW LAW LAW" -everyone, chanting


Law B

"Rich kid" - Everyone to Keelan D


"It's a childish notion at best.." -Ellen

"Pure sound lad" - Conall

"If you decided to be sly about it" -Daire

"What if you ‘pulled a fast one’" - Daire

"Slice and dice" - Daire

"Law does not kill law" - Everyone

"Just deal with it" - Everyone (mainly Selin)

"Do you live on the Obama side of Tipperary?" - Larragh "Ah yes, Obamarary" - Caoimhe

"Moneygall is like Donegal, but where the people have jobs" - Caoimhe


"Just because you almost died Conall..." - Everyone to Conall

"I could kill someone better than that", "I bet this class could pull off a murder", "Should we?" - unknown (about the Catherine Nevin case.)

"It would've been easier to just shoot him, would've been lights out straight away" - Daire

"Nice!!!" - Ciara, Selin and jack (about everything)

"Tax evasion is not 'nice', does life in prison sound 'nice' to you?" - Katie

"if I was to fake a robbery I'd at least HIDE SOME MONEY" - unknown

"You're like 12" - Ciara to anyone younger than her

"was it avoid not evade or evade not avoid?" - unknown

"No, they won't find out, I steal IP addresses from real people. " - Ellen

"You can't just diss Matheson!" - Maura

"BABY LAW" - everyone



"Everything I say is quotable"


"The more you push me the drier I get"

"Look at your body and inflate it, that is your body in college"


"Don't be hatin'"



*calls Meabh's name out on roll after she moved from medicine* * stares off into distance*

"boobs just get in the way of doctors"


"If you have hiccups avoid steroids and go for the good old fashioned anal massage"

"Babies are parasites" *shudders*


*Insults America- looks at helen- keeps going*

"Hugh, think about what you're about to say and probably don't say"

"I love cancer!"

"It's really gross and horrible, do you want me to google image it?"

*has big booty*


"What learning objective are you on?" - Laura "I'm on" - Hugh

"We ship Maoife" - everyone

"surprise sex" - Hugh about rape

"cuddle with a struggle" - Hugh also about rape

"I want to lynch Ciara she looks dodgy" - Mohammed

"I'm currently on my fifth orange juice and it feels so good" - Stephanie

"If I were a bacterium I'd take a leaf out of cancer's book" - Hugh

"It's noter dame not notre dame #'murica" - Helen

*screams quietly during yoga* - Hugh

*chanting* "lung cancer, lung cancer, lung cancer!" - Neil, Laura and Oisin

"Just lead the stoner to the ambulance with a trail of weed" - Hugh

"My cat had depression" - Leona

"I think you do write erotica- it's always the opposite of what you expect. Hugh probably doesn't write erotica." - Neil "Of course I write erotica!" - Hugh

*doing case study on teenager with severe drug addiction problems* *plays smoke weed everyday on phone* - Sean

"Here take my phone and just go on omegle" - Hugh *Jani and Ciara take phone and set lock screen as a vagina*

"I put in my interests as necrophilia and unicorns" - Hugh on omegle

"Put in the interests lymph nodes and dolphins" - Stephanie

"The swiggity swooty booty alarm went off last night" - Hugh


"One of the Jew items. One item, Jew items." - Cian and Isobel

"Every day is for Jesus." - Jason "Every night is for Satan, and me." - Elle

"I have discovered that the rain does not agree with my hair." - Elle "Does anything agree with your hair?" - Aaron "Well my hair agrees with Socrates, in that it doesn't write anything down."

"My heart is taken." - Jason "By what," - Elle "The pursuit of justice and love." - Jason

"Call me big daddy and I'll say okay" - Jason

"Die you fat hoe, there's a reason no one fucking answers your fucking calls" - Jason (I assume it made sense at the time)

"I meme therefore I am" - Cian

"If you puke on me, I will take your puke, freeze it and give it to you on your birthday ten years from now." - Jason to sick Elle

"Your right to make small jokes is smaller than you are" - probably Eoin, to Elle

"Before I say anything, your iPad is safe. But I stood on your iPad by accident." - Eoin

"Do you want a round of applause? Cos I seem to have left my hands at home." - Jason

"Elle, do you know what doesn't matter? What women think" - Jason. "To an eleven year old male."

"Denied medieval minie mo, has somebody disturbed my flow?" - Fiachra

"I am not sexually attracted to Jesus." - Elle

"You didn't miss much, everyone was just licking Socrates' ass" - unknown

"I don't think One Direction should be on anything that I wear" - Fiachra "Are you a fake fan, Fiachra?"

"I would be the third child. I would be dead, or a priest." - Jason

"What religion are you?" - Elle "French. I believe in the French nation above all things." - Jason

I wrote comments, they're probably all legible - Fiachra

Deus sex machine - Jason

They're taking their time on it - Aoibh No! The government?! - Fiachra

How many rights and liberties should people have? - Fiachra Twelve - Elle And they're all to do with traffic regulations - Jason

*in relation to Inside Out*

"Did you walk out?" - student

"No, but I snorted in derision." - Fiachra

"How old are you?" - student

"As old as the mountains and the sea." -Fiachra

"I shall name my firstborn Galvatron" -Fiachra

"I Kant even" or "I just Kant" -everyone at some point probably

Popular Fiction A

"Dinosaurs are people too." - Claire

"To have a relationship you need a wand." - Ben

"... Engorgio." - Philip

"What is [The Fault in Our Stars] definitely not about?" - Claire

"Puppies!" - Arthur

"Meningitis!" - Elle

Popular Fiction B

"No Hetero" - Lola and Sasha

"Stop touching me!!!!" -Caoilfhinn

"I ship it like FedEx" - Sasha

"choke me Daddy" - Cormac

*in deep a voice*"Cause I'm Batman" - Sasha

"Ooh, they are well-titted, these little American wonders" - Curtis White/ Aran

"show me your ginger bush" - Caoilfhinn (to Oisin)

"Stop Slurping!" - Eammon

"BODY OF CHRIST!" - anybody "EAMONN!" - everybody

"BODY OF JANE!" - anybody "JANEMONN!" - everybody

"Hi, I'm lola and I like girls :)" - Lola

"No, no, don't touch me there that is my no no square, R-A-P-E, keep your Dick away from me" - Sasha and Caoilfhinn

"Claire, stop caressing Anna" - Eamonn

"I ship it" - everyone

"We will personally burn the orphans alive" - James "How tf do you personally burn something?" - everyone

Social Psychology

"Easily Heanue, he lives in the incestous part of Galway" - PJ

*David says something problematic* *class begins humming in dissent* "guys, we're not cultivating a bee colony" -Fiona

"Fucking hell. I'm so smart. Fuck everyone" - Sophie

"Snakes don't even like burgers, why do they want buns so much?" - PJ

"It's nothing personal David, I just don't trust you" - Sophie

"Guys.... Are we psyched?" - Maedhbh (every morning)

"RKO" - Most of the class

"You young whippersnappers with your nike minaj singing about snakes or something" - PJ

"My name is Oscar, this is my third year and... this chair is fucking bollocks" - Oscar (in front of our American guests)

"We must never speak of the Trading Game" - Everyone except James

"All rise for the honourable Judge P-Justice" - Niamh

"I'M SO POPULAR!!" - Grace O

"I'm really good at stabbing." - Manal

"WE MADE AN ICE DILDO!" - Emma, Maedhbh, Manal and Niamh

"I wouldn't actually torture someone"-David "Suuuuuuure"-Siobhan "HEY! THAT'S RACIST!"-David

*PJ is blindfolded* "Justice is blind!" - Jessica

"Having a DMC is basically like shifting a personality" - Grace O

"Coffee is just bitter" - Jessica "You're bitter!!!" - Manal

"But pain makes you feel alive... or something..." - Manal

"The swastika does not equal MC Squared" - PJ

"Godammit Emma!" - Manal

"Godammit Cian!" - Everyone

"I'm a pretty punny guy... I'm like a punderstorm" - PJ

"She's gonna go and hide all of her knives in her room"-Jessica "I'm a fucking commuter!"-Manal

"Everyone try and laugh like a dolphin" - Maedhbh *Everyone proceeds to make sheep noises*

"Sometimes, being cocky is a good thing"-PJ "Did you just say being a cock is a good thing!?"-Niamh

"NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO OVULATE!"-Bláthnaid and Niamh

"I don't remember anything about whale penises!" - Chris

"Míchael is so full of shit. You'd think it'd make him taller but when he speaks, it all comes out in the form of words." - PJ

"Just picture fat children running away for their lives away from fast food and the fear of death. That was the idea behind our campaign." - Oscar

"PJ!"-Cian "That's my name"-PJ "No shit"-Manal

"There's dust in this cup"-PJ "Someone probably pissed in it"-Liam "Is that what your piss looks like? Is your piss dusty?"-PJ

"Now is the time to ovulate, Richie... now is the time to ovulate"-Jessica

"Polygamy is okay so long as neither of my husbands know about each other"-Niamh


"Matt" - Matt's entire RA group

"Snapple is the new form of prostitution payment" - Caoilfhinn

"Can I lick your earlobe? For science?" - David (Collins)

"Now is that literally in the figurative sense or literally in the literal sense?" - David


"But-mm-NYEH!!!" -Rory Conneely, on the topic of the flowerboxes in the stone circle.

"Well the more suicidal people, the less suicidal people.So its a problem which sorts itself out" -Owen Buckley

"I'm glad we can all rest in peace" - David, at Glasnevin

"Fire hazard" - Everyone

"She took my phone because I'm not being "politically correct" " - David "Ok but you were literally saying we should eat people" - Chloe

"Why only blowjobs and handjobs? Why not rimjobs? Don't discriminate." - Chloe "See this is why people think you write erotica" - Lisa

"Meabh why is your hand between my legs??? AHHHHHHH " - Caoilfhinn

"Persionally I think minesweeper has the most toxic community" - Micheal

*someone says "First things first" * I'M A REALIST - everyone

"There's a difference between pizza and cancer.Ones a serious life threatening thing and the others cancer"-Megan Tate on the importance of pizza

"Just trust me, I know more about One Direction than you" - Chloe

"Is there blood on my teeth? It's not even good blood!" - Jerry

"My smile is the worst thing. My smile commits genocide." - Elle "Nothing makes me smile but genocide." - Lisa

"I'm so glad to have like an entire RA group of mothers." - Lisa

"Jason, can you do me a favour and tell your government to stop fucking destroying Camden." - Sophie

"I would take your fashion decisions right here on the floor." - Jason

"There's a lot of trash here, and by that I mean you guys" - Unknown

"Please don't penetrate my mother with anything." - Unknown

"Oh my god sexualise me now" - John

"I'm gona get really close to your arse but like in a friendly way" - Chloe

"I got up in my pyjamas, punched a fucking pigeon and went back to bed." - Lisa

"Hey kid, wanna buy a sundial?" - Lisa (creepy voice)

"Strike Sandra, be the shark you were meant to be" - Thomas

"I can see you dazzling your dazzles at them" - Lisa

"Jerry, your whispering is much like a rock concert" - Aaron

"Be the crack whore you were born to be!" - Thomas

"You were slowly pushing it in" - Jerry, about a pen "It would never have gone in." - Elle "That's going in the fanfic" - Thomas

"You steal my girlfriend, I steal your ukulele" - Aaron

"I'd lick a thousand vulvas for a tenner" - Lisa

"I wanna touch a cow in my life" - Connor

"You've forfeited your right to a name, labcoat." Senan to Elle

"I just realised I have half the amount of limbs an octopus will ever have." - Lisa

"If you cheat, I will know and I will pimp smack you with a cow. A cow, a small cow." - Jason

"I'm doing it because of your gender, not because of your rampant murder hard-on." - Jason

"Do you appear if I say Panagiotopoulos correctly three times in a row?" - someone to Jason

"I've got coffee. You know where you fall in that pecking order." - Aaron

"You're like a fucking Freudian ice rink" - Jason to Elle

"Have you ever seen a sex drive?" - Katie "Could you draw a sex drive?" - Lisa "Could you drive a sex?" - Jason "Where did the sex drive hurt you?" - Cian

"It was one of the less tense times in Israel, which meant there were only four guys with machine guns at every street corner." - Jason

"What did it, the mysterious hickey fairy?" Lisa to Aaron

"Can I have a purple snack bar please?" Elle at pizza restaurant

"How are people better than you?" Elle "Practise, Asian parents" - Jason

"I will give you my keycard. If I find my shit missing, I will kill all your family." - Jason "By 'find your shit missing', you imply I have somewhere to put it." - Oscar "There's always orifices!" - Jason

"Is beautiful wanting to have sex with yourself?" - Oscar

"I am a slut and a whore, I will sell myself for money Elle" - Dermot on Casino Night

"Daddy, where's Bono?" - Maedhbh and Arianna

"Close them with your eyelids"- Jason

"I will do anything. I will slutdrop to Bob the Builder" - Arianna on casino night

"I'm too nerdy for nerd camp." - Arianna

"Wedge Juice" - Chloe

"It's so soft, I'm going to rub it" - Jason

"He was trying to finger my nose!' - Jason

"If I don't do this my breasts will fall out" - Jason

"Mines 11 inches. It's so small" - Isobel

"If it ain't 24 karat, we ain't married" - Jason

"You don't kill someone just because you're married to them" - Julie

"Psychology is witchcraft" - Fedor

"So, it's like Facebook, but for people?" - Daniel

"Philosophy is condensation" - Jason

"God said,"Let there be Light!", then squinted very heavily" - Daniel

"This is so hot" - Daniel

"I want you to be castrated" - Chloe

"If you are in your prime, I feel sorry for you" - Elle to Jason

*Drops a bag of limes next to Sandra* " Sorry I'm bad at pickup LIMES!" - Lola

"This is the gayest day ever" - Lola

"Maybe it's panic at the disco.

If this continues, there will be blood on the dance floor" - Jason and Cian

"So you're saying those boots aren't made for walking?" - Cian

"I thought that was his knee, it was long and hard" - Jason

"Remember the rule, men don't cry they water their beards" - Gillespie

"Well , it sounds like this ship could be setting sail" - Isobel

"I swear, there's always a cult with you involved." - Rachel (to Caoimhe)

"I do believe we have quite a healthy roomationship" - Caoimhe

"You can have my time machine when I take off my pants" - Caoilfhinn

"You're back from the dead. You're werewolf Jesus." - Mark

"Don't put go karts in the toaster" - Stephanie

"Just ask her if you can use her bread as a pillow. No context." - Ciarán

"I want to put Nandos on my face" - Ciarán

"Word of advice, don't put milk in your kettle" - Stephanie

"I have a special kind of mouth herpes" - Stephanie

"I don't want murder on the list of things I've done to this child" - Ciarán

"We're going to euthanise Teddy. With knives" - Ciarán

"I asked for it but I didn't mean the punching" - Megan



"You can have just as much craic without ... crack." - Maeve

"That's so cool, it's got so many more syllables than letters." - Maeve

"If you're talking when I'm talking, you're wrong" - Andrew

"Orla is cool" - Orla, on the board after CTYI Worlds

"Do you know how many words are in any given language? Waaay more than seven." - RA Andrew at Language Club

"I like Polish, the letters are scary." - RA Andrew at Language Club"

"America's the same basically, but aluminium is spelled wrong." - RA Andrew at Language Club

"I love it when languages have letters." - RA Andrew at Language Club

If you're scared ... Just think, what would popdeping do? Except if you speak fluent Welsh, because you're not allowed use the microwave." - - RA Andrew at Language Club

"There's no more room in feminism!" - RA supervising Feminism Discussion line

"If anyone speaks, no more language. Ever." - RA Andrew at Language Club

"I don't trust tentacles" - RA Andrew

"Bad boy, no phones on." - Philip to RA Andrew "RAs are all-powerful wecanskipthequeues" - RA Andrew at Language Club

"Hey I'm Andrew, I don't like chickens. That comes up at least seven times a day for me." - RA Andrew at Language Club

"That's close but to be honest I did not fear for my life once" - RA Andrew at Language Club

"If it doesn't sound like you are gargling gravel, you are not speaking Irish" - RA Andrew at Language Club

"One astoundingly fire hazardous round of applause for Ciarán!" - RA Andrew at Language Club

"You have to get as much money as possible, it's like life. As long as we don't find out about it, basically anything goes." - RA Conor

"Harsh, so harsh" - TA Maura

"Which one of you very talented youth left your bags behind?" - RA Mairead



"Pawoo" - andrew, alison + merlin

"hey andrew/teddy/alison, yah happy?" -alison/andrew/teddy


Aaron finding the single tree in Bots

"Maybe not a Leibniz, but at least a Kant." - Cian to Elle

"Approachable?" Cian and Jason

"If you are a werewolf, don't stand up or Patrick may identify you" - Jason

"Patrick, shut the fuck up" - Jason

"Point to Patrick to show how much of a moron he is" - Jason

"Do you think is God-

Being an asshole?" - Jason and Patrick

"Patrick is my spirit bitch" - Jason

"Love strikes blindly - so do it quickly" - Jason

"I'm going to spank you with my divine spear" - Jason

"Your mayor is so dead, he's not even alive anymore" - Jason

"Today is a special day because-

It's my birthday.

No, it's electoral day.

Oh fuck." Jason, Patrick and Aaron

"Are you alright? No, you're dead." - Jason

"The person I just kicked is the seer. They have to pay for their role." - Jason

"Well, it wasn't ideal." -Luke

"Tom...please don't piss on a dog" -Aoibh

"the window gods have blessed me with a spoon, I will guard it with my life" - Blathneid

" I love you in a non-sexual way" - Ellen/Eoghan

"I love you in a strictly platonic way" - Caoimhe/Ellen

"Under more heterosexual circumstances, you two would be a perfect pair." - Daire, to Ellen and Keelan

"I'm as straight as a rainbow" - Keelan

"It's not weird cos I'm gay" - Keelan

"I'll oil you up" - Eoghan to Daire

"*tongue flick*" - Eoghan

"are you going to an MMA tournament or what?" Keelan, to Lana.

"you're my bro, your name is Eoghan, so your name is Broghan" - Ellen to Eoghan

"There is one speed. And it is dog" - andrew + alison + merlin